I couldn’t win the argument so I had to settle for the next best thing — a B12 pill. So I ordered a bottle of Metagenics Intrinsi B12/Folate (With Intrinsic Factor) and I was very excited when it arrived (as if it was a present for me). Like most parents of autistic children, I get excited whenever I hear about a type of intervention that some kids have had success with. Of course, I do my own research before actually trying it on my son.

So we got the B12 pill. Now all we had to do is get my son to swallow it. It’s very tiny, so it should be easy for him to swallow. Easy, right? Wrong — it’s one of the most challenging tasks that I have tried to do with my son. He wouldn’t swallow it; he’d just keep it in his mouth like a candy and wait for it to melt.

I tried giving him water and telling him how swallow it. He’d gulp the water down, but when he opens his mouth, I’d still see the pill under his tongue or on one side of his mouth.

I tried bribing him with his favorite candy. I told him that I’d give him one if he swallowed his B12 pill. It didn’t work.

And all this time that he was refusing to swallow the pill, he had this impish grin on his face, as if we’re playing a game and he’s having a lot of fun.

Today is the third day that I’m trying to teach him how to swallow his B12 pill. I don’t know how long it will take or what method will work to get him to swallow the pill. But he will learn — eventually. As with a lot of other tasks that he had learned over the years, it’s just a matter of time. Practice, practice, practice. And we’ll get there, son.

These were the three items listed on the hospital form that the mother in front of me was holding.

I was looking over her shoulder. I looked at mine, and it said, “1. Autism”.

Probably for the first time in my life, I was glad I had less than the other person. I wasn’t glad that she had more — I was just glad that I had less. And that’s not schadenfreude.

It made me realize that life with an autistic child really isn’t that bad. True, it’s damn hard to raise an autistic child. But there are quite a number of conditions out there that are worse than autism.

A couple of months ago when I took my son to his checkup at the hospital, I remember seeing a child about 10 years old on a wheelchair. He was wearing a brace around his head, his eyes looked dull and blank, and he was wearing a diaper.  It was obvious that the child had some form of brain damage and that he probably needed care all the time.

I turned to my son and I felt a wave of relief just looking at him. I was relieved that he was walking on his own, unassisted. That he could go to the toilet by himself, flush, and then wash his hands. That he could eat by himself and carry his plate to the sink when he’s done.

Sure, he didn’t learn these skills overnight. We had to train him for some time and we’re still training him to do other things. His days are filled with all sorts of classes and therapy sessions. But, my point is that he can be trained and he can learn. It might take a lot of time and patience to teach him, but we can teach him and he does learn.

From time to time though, I still get depressed about my son’s condition. But I think this periodic depression is normal.

But the next time depression hits me, I will remember to look around me and I will remind myself that autism isn’t the worst thing that could happen to my child. We are still fortunate, despite our daily struggle with autism.