- Mental Retardation
- Developmental Delay
- Autism
These were the three items listed on the hospital form that the mother in front of me was holding.
I was looking over her shoulder. I looked at mine, and it said, “1. Autism”.
Probably for the first time in my life, I was glad I had less than the other person. I wasn’t glad that she had more — I was just glad that I had less. And that’s not schadenfreude.
It made me realize that life with an autistic child really isn’t that bad. True, it’s damn hard to raise an autistic child. But there are quite a number of conditions out there that are worse than autism.
A couple of months ago when I took my son to his checkup at the hospital, I remember seeing a child about 10 years old on a wheelchair. He was wearing a brace around his head, his eyes looked dull and blank, and he was wearing a diaper. It was obvious that the child had some form of brain damage and that he probably needed care all the time.
I turned to my son and I felt a wave of relief just looking at him. I was relieved that he was walking on his own, unassisted. That he could go to the toilet by himself, flush, and then wash his hands. That he could eat by himself and carry his plate to the sink when he’s done.
Sure, he didn’t learn these skills overnight. We had to train him for some time and we’re still training him to do other things. His days are filled with all sorts of classes and therapy sessions. But, my point is that he can be trained and he can learn. It might take a lot of time and patience to teach him, but we can teach him and he does learn.
From time to time though, I still get depressed about my son’s condition. But I think this periodic depression is normal.
But the next time depression hits me, I will remember to look around me and I will remind myself that autism isn’t the worst thing that could happen to my child. We are still fortunate, despite our daily struggle with autism.